Now I know a lot of you are not on here for dating but this is something I discovered that made me laugh outloud for real. In your pursuit of misses right please remember the following and use these guidelines! ;)
1)Don't post topless photos of yourself, photos of yourself flexing, or pics taken at the gym. It's lame and it makes you look like either a cornball or a walking STD. Or someone with no brain.
2)Do NOT start off messages with "hey gorgeous", "sweetie", "hun", "beautiful". It's not as 'smooth' as you think it sounds.
3)Don't say things about yourself like: "I like all music but country". Cliche.
4)Don't use corny phrases that include "come get me" or "are you looking for love?".
5)Do not state that you are not into playing games nor looking for drama. It's too cliche. And cliche is boring.
6)Do not write extremely long profiles about yourself. It's not necessary to write a whole novel on here about yourself, especially if you are not that interesting. You will come off sounding as if you have major issues or just plain desperate.
7)Do not lie about your age. Especially if it's blatantly obvious, (i.e, you say you're 32 but you're really 60)
8)Do not lie about your height. If you are 5'5, do not say you are 6'1. PLEASE!!
9)Do not lie about your job. If someone likes you, they will even like you if you are unemployed.
10)Do not use old photos taken a decade ago. Do not photoshop either. It's incredibly deceitful.
11)Don't try to impress by talking about what you have or how much money you make. Sometimes the person you are talking to has more than you or a higher power status. Humble yourself. Modesty exudes confidence on it's own.
12)Be yourself. Be interesting. Be different. Be mysterious. But don't be creepy.
The most crucial moments are generally first impressions. Never show up on a first date looking sloppy. Or smelly. If you have strange body odor, mask on the cologne, deodorant, or take a shower. (If your hygiene is really that poor, then perhaps you shouldn't be dating till you clean up your act. There's no reason to disrespect people's nostrils nor polluting the air with your nonsense). And if you are not a stylish person, try to put some effort into your outfit. The DO'S & DONT'S:
1)NO fanny packs, tank tops, ripped/torn jeans, acid-washed anything, shoes w/ no socks, club shirts, too much untasteful man jewelry, jogging suits, sweatshirts/pants, baggy attire, unfitted clothes, too-short pants, too-long shorts, dirty/scuffed shoes, armpit-stained shirts, crocs. The last one is a double DON'T. There is nothing appealing about a plastic clog-shaped shoe with holes.
2)The "Richard Simmons" demeanor: unkempt hair and acting gayer than a rainbow care bear. If you have unruly hair, comb it. Do not do feminine things like crossing your legs, checking yourself out in the mirror, or fish for compliments. So unless you want to be alone forever, then you may show up with frizzy bad-permed hair, wearing too-short shorts(a.k.a "dolphin shorts")all while crossing your legs donning those bright colored crocs.
3)Being vulgar, using ebonics, and talking about sex is untasteful. Be a classy gentleman.
4)Trim any long nose hairs and ear hairs, clip off those long nails, and separate that unibrow- if you're flaunting one. Those things are distracting to look at. Do not disrespect other people's eyeballs, please them by looking your best.
Keep it classy, San Diego/LA/Wherever-the-fuck-you-are.
Oh so funny but oh so true!!
|1090 days ago|
HAHAHAHAHA! Very practical advice! So let me recap . .sooo if I DON"T wear the dolphin shorts & fanny pack & look like a Richard Simmons clone . . .chances are the date MIGHT go well . .hhmmm . .thank you so much for giving me the heads up . .I was sooooo gonna do that but now . . .now . .I'll have to rethink my wardrobe again . .can I still wear my Brutt though? The ladies love it . . it really helps masks the BO . .you know I only shower once a month? So now that QQ has educated me on the finer points of dating . .I'm good to go . .right out of the box . .no assembly required with me ladies! LMAO!
|1137 days ago|
But I'm 18, and a virgin, and I just won the lottery :)
|1140 days ago|
oooohhh god,i learned something today,number 2 was for me...now im not gonna use those words im my messages...thanks for the tip...
|1141 days ago|
|1143 days ago|