It's interesting to me when I discover what characteristics in people I find sexy. The definition of sexy seems to change as consistently as a clock, and I've found that most of what I find sexy depends more on my own mood and situation than on the person I'm interested in... though both are important. The chemistry requires both parts; not just her, and not just me.

Sometimes, for example, what turns me on one day might blow me out a few days later. Sometimes flirting "expires" and either moves on to something more physical, or it doesn't... but it cannot remain flirting any longer. Maybe, after one or two fabulous sessions of "physical therapy" the idea of hooking up just seems distasteful... and what I crave is emotional company. Or maybe after a period of hanging out with intense, introspective people, I find that all I want to do is wrestle with someone.

The point is, it changes. Needs change and desires change. What's a good fit one week becomes an ill fit the next. I suppose that being in love means finding that person that goes with you through those cycles.

The idea of "sexy" kind of fucked it all up. Sexy suggests that a person has it or they don't. Truth is, at least for me, that everyone has it given the right circumstances. I might be sexy—though I've never really felt it. I don't find myself particularly attractive, or unattractive. I know being able to engage in witty small-talk is considered by most to be sexy... and I suck at it. I'm not ripped. I have a smaller than average sized penis that doesn't always cooperate (in my middle age). I'm bald. I've got a bit of a beer belly. Yet, for all this, there are times that (with the right person at the right time) I feel like we're greek gods.

I know there's no universal sexy. I suppose then that the trick is to know myself well enough to identify what it is I want, and when, then find the person, persons, technique, animal, or device that can deliver it. On the "grand code book of all things moral and ethical," I don't know where that puts me. It doesn't really matter, I suppose.

All this to say, I like people.