Good evening everyone,
I just wanted to get on here and kind of vent. I’ve been in a relationship for a little over 2 years. In the course of these 2 years I can count the amount of times we’ve had sex with one hand. I’ve tried everything to get him turned on! We’ve talked about it as well, and he’s had a traumatic experience in the past, that he won’t let go of! He keeps saying he’s going to try and be better but it never happens. I love him and he loves me, we’re even moving across the country together and even talking about getting married once we get to our new destination. Our relationship is amazing, we’re best friends and have a lot in common, it’s just this sex situation that’s the problem. I try and take care of myself when the urge happens, but it’s not enough. I want that physical contact, that you can only get with sex. I try and tell myself that it’s ok, that sex isn’t important, and that one day he’ll get over his trauma and finally let loose, but honestly it’s not ok, and now I’m just getting frustrated! He is the person I see myself staying with for the rest of my life, but I want that passion as well! I don’t know what to do!
Thanks for reading! I’d like to get any advice that could help!
Well, if you’ve already made it clear to him that sex, passion, and essentially that physical touch is important to you and he still hasn’t gotten better about it or fixed it then I’d agree with the comment above about mentioning the open relationship option. See if he’ll be all for it or if he’d be willing to compromise at least like you’ve been compromising with your sexual needs not being fulfilled.
First and foremost, you need to make sure you’re telling him how you’re feeling and how it’s making you frustrated. Keeping it to yourself isn’t the best thing to do and it will begin to fester into resentment towards him and ruin your relationship. Explain your feelings and provide solutions and ideas that way he doesn’t feel like you’re attacking him. Maybe an open relationship or letting you have a fuck buddy. Maybe he/both of you can go to counseling. Maybe he can be there for you in other ways when you have an urge and stimulate you mentally and stimulate your senses.
Have you talked about open relationship? Maybe a once a month fling type thing.....