"I'm Bored"

"Bored and Hungry"

"Bored and horny"

"Who wants to play I'm bored"

Oooooooooooooooooooh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmy GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAWD.

*bangs her head on her desk*

Seriously - I would like to know how "I'm bored" is supposed to inspire someone to want to talk to you.  That doesn't start a conversation.  Where do you go with "I'm bored"? 

"Well - gee (username here), why are you so bored?"

Now THAT is an inspiring chat right there.  Excuse me while I hit the snooze button and multi-task on you because you don't know how to entertain yourself, let alone keep my attention.  I'll just be over here surfing the web, watching tv, AND having a phone conversation while you try to figure out what to say to me.

People... I'm BEGGING you.  PLEASE for the love of puppies and starving children in Africa I'm going to lose my gourd if I keep seeing people post for their status update that they're BORED.  Seriously.  If you're bored, then odds are you're BORING and I don't want to talk to you.

I hear kids say that crap today and I look at them like they have two heads... and tell them to go play in traffic.  There's this awesome thing called an imagination.  Use it.  Go read a book, go write your grandma a letter and send it in the mail (can you say awwww?)... go invent the next most fabulous sex toy ever.  I don't give a crap WHAT you do, but seriously find some way to entertain yourself and for fuck's sake, don't announce to the world that you're BORED.

I will say it again... if you're bored you're boring (probably in AND out of bed).  And really - do you want to announce to the world that you're probably a crap lover?  Really?  Especially on a site like this where the guys clearly outnumber the women?  Be inspiring cause quite frankly the numbers are in the ladies' favor, gentlemen.  Be entertaining on SOME level.  PLEASE.  I'm BEGGING you... and I don't beg often or easily.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SAVE ME FROM THE "I'M BORED" STATUS UPDATES!

Thank you and have a nice day.